I've been thinking a lot lately about our perceptions in life and in relation to CHD. How optimism and pessimism play a role in our outlook towards our health and well-being is interesting to me, and I'm not really sure if I am inherently one or the other. I'm a work in progress. I know that as Sofia's surgery is coming closer, the ups and downs are frequent. I think if you're not a half glass full type of person, then CHD can be seriously overwhelming and probably debilitating at times. There are still days I feel sorry for myself and for Sofia (luckily these are fairly infrequent). The half is glass empty side of me says: Sofia has CHD. It is unpredictable. Surgery is awful. CHD is a lifelong condition. It is unfair. She could face serious complications down the road. But, the glass is half full side of me reminds me of the buts (yes, she has CHD, but...) she's doing well. She's healthy otherwise and happy and smart. She's got a bright future. She has family that loves her. There are kids and families that are struggling far more with CHD and other conditions than we are. I think we're all entitled to our glass half empty moments, but I also think we probably owe it to ourselves to be reminded of things we are grateful for. So everyone probably has some little superstitions or idiosyncrasies, and one of mine is something I started doing without realizing it. Ok, so whenever I read the news, I always find there is so much bad and sad that I always end by reading a good or funny story. Sometimes I have to go back and search out a good story just so I can finish.
5 Things I hate about CHD
1- it's a killer -1 million babies born each year with CHD. 100,000 won't live to see 1st birthday
2- it's complicated - high school biology (and college biology for that matter) didn't prepare me for the complexity of CHD and leaves me feeling inadequate when it comes to cardiology
3- it can't be cured
4- it gave me a lifetime membership to an exclusive club that I never wanted to be a part of, which means sometimes you feel like you're actually on the outside
5- it has brought me to my knees, literally
and in the spirit of having a glass half full attitude, here are the things I am thankful for when it comes to CHD
1- I've met some amazing people that I would otherwise never have known
2- although there is no cure, advances are being made everyday (just an example see the Popular Science article this month on the mechanical heart - totally fascinating) read this: http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2012-02/no-pulse-how-doctors-reinvented-human-heart?cmpid=tw)
3- Sofia has defect that that is directly impacted by surgical advancements - 40 or 50 years ago she wouldn't have made it to where she is now
4- Sofia is thriving despite her condition - developmentally, socially, physically
5- I'm working on this, but I'm trying to not sweat small stuff, remember what is really important, and appreciate every moment
Anne, I just wanted to let you know that I'm so very proud of you. You are such a wonderful mother. Love you, Heidi
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